Why people have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since old ages. Extramarital affairs can be loaded with problems, cause sadness, and other problems. Plus you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, money, age difference, spiritual background, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking affairs. I think typically though it is just the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your spouse or anyone else? You will need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest group, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they are happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sadly this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the husband is sexually neglecting his lady for a tones of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is gone, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply developed apart, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair